Don't One Up Me, Friends

 Do you ever express that you are in a very busy stretch? Just a random day that everything piles up, or just a busy season at work or you have a lot going on in your personal life. Perhaps you are planning a big event, on top of your day to day lifestyle. Or you have kids that keep you from doing daily tasks. We all have our own busy, and our own way to handle it. I am currently a Stay at Home Mom, so my busy might look completely different to those that leave their house for work. I spend my day making sure my kids are taken care of, meals, playtime, naptime, bath time, Storytime. You get the idea. I also try to keep my household in order, so I have, cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. Day to day I get very busy, and always have other things pop up. We have play dates, extra shopping trips, outdoor walks. I also think its important to take time to enjoy hobbies, so I do a lot of baking, writing, knitting and reading when the opportunity arises. 

I have many times expressed that I am just tired and feeling busy. There is always some one who tries to "one up" and express how they are even busier than I am. I have heard so so many times how I am 'not busy' because I do not have a physical job that I leave to go to every day. I just sit on my ass all day, didn't you know? I have too much time on my hands so how can I be busy? Literally the most infuriating thing. Trying to juggle kids, and home life and the million other things that constantly come up makes me lazy. Some parents who juggle a job out of the home on top of raising their family, props to you. Keep it up. I'm not trying to shame anyone, but at least if you are going to a job everyday you get a break from being called 'mom' every thirty seconds. Most of the people I have felt this 'one up' energy from are people that are married to their job. They have no other responsibilities other then work. No kids, easy to maintain pets, just go to work and back every day. But because they put in a lot of facetime at their job, they are obviously the busiest person in the world. I would love to see those people care for a child for a week on top of other responsibilities and then once back to their regular routine (I hope) would have change of heart. 

Its sort of the same thing if you express pain or loss to someone that has lost more then you, or struggles with pain in a different way. "Oh I stepped on 16 Legos my foot hurts way more then you, you only stepped on 3 Legos." "You think that's bad, I got fired from the last 12 jobs I've had I'm sure you'll survive being fired from 1 job" (clearly these are just examples, but they made me laugh.) Why can't people be more understanding, we typically vent to people for a reason. We want to feel heard and perhaps are seeking advice. Some are maybe looking for sympathy, but for the most part we just want someone to understand whatever it is were going through. So if someone is ever venting to you for whatever reason, try to hear them before you make them feel bad for reaching out to you. I think it's perfectly fine to share your experiences, but try not to belittle your friends that just need to share their frustrations. 

(Also, if you have been fired from 12 jobs, or stepped on 16 Legos, I am truly sorry, these were definitely meant to just be random examples.)