I need your respect, parents

 Do you ever get frustrated when your parents or in laws overstep? Same. I enjoy seeing them, and we are blessed to live in the same city with all of our parents. I do truly want my kids to have a good relationship with their grandparents. I never had that luxury growing up, as my grandparents all died when I was a kid and/or they live on the opposite side of the country. 

I have very strong feelings about mine or my husbands parents over stepping their boundary. I do not give my kids juice and I don't really give a lot of sugar through the week. However as soon as they go off to a grandparent's house the ice cream, cookies, candy, pop, junk food all comes out. I have made it very clear that I don't appreciate this and it usually turns into an argument about how at their house, so its their rules. I think it should actually be my kid, my rules. My four year old has a really bad sugar crash, she gets so hyper that I think she could  jump onto the ceiling like Spiderman. Soon after she begins into a meltdown and tantrums until she passes out. That's the main reason I don't give her a lot of sugar. 

Discipline is also an area where I feel grandparents often overstep. I try not to yell and I refrain from spanking as much as I can. Of course it happens, but I believe that those sorts of discipline should be kept for mom and dad, not grandma and grandpa and uncle and auntie. I do not think its appropriate for anyone other then me or my husband to spank or yell at my children. If they misbehave under their supervision, I expect it would be handled the same as they would with anyone else's kids. At daycare, no matter how rotten the child is behaving they would never get spanked. 

Am I just crazy and over protective? I really don't think I am. I used to be super anal about when my kids would be fed with someone else. When I was breast feeding and I had to run an errand I would leave my kids with an extended family member. I would literally tell them to call me before they fed a bottle, because if I was going to be back in 5 minutes I'd ask them to wait so I could relieve my boobs. If I was still going to be awhile I'd tell them to go ahead with the bottle. I'd also get them to let me know if a nap was about to take place because I would prefer to keep them awake so I can just nap them at home instead. I don't think I've ever been so annoyed then when I've had to wait for my sleeping/eating child when I'm picking them up; especially if I was in a rush.