Shouldn't Have Done That, Kid

 If you don't know, I have 2 beautiful children (4 and 1). Something I stand by with them is consequences to your actions. If they hit with a toy it gets taken away, and so forth. My little boy has learned to take his mittens off, and I don't force him to wear them if he takes the mitts off. He has learned that his hands get cold and he cries. My daughter tries to stack toys so she can climb to do various things. She is aware of the risk to get hurt. Does she care? Absolutely not. Does she cry and demand attention? Every time. 

I am very huge in letting them learn for themselves. although I do my best to keep their safety in mind. If you jump on the bed and fall off, that is the punishment for jumping on the bed. Will they continue to do so several times? Most likely. 

My 1 year old has recently learned to open the baby gate. It is less then favorable since he doesn't know how to go down stairs properly. His way of going downstairs is to tumble head first. Does he have a tantrum every time I close the gate and try to redirect his attention? Yes. Sometimes I get lucky and he will divert his attention, until someone inevitably uses the stairs. His favourite hobby is throwing everything down the stairs. It's like a maze to get down safely. He hasn't fallen yet, but I'm counting the days until he is brave enough to attempt going down on his own. Can't run until you walk, right? Maybe he will miraculously just walk or crawl down without getting hurt. Maybe he'll fall but the stuff he throws down will break his fall. I'm hoping that when he does make the attempt that he doesn't get hurt. I know if he falls, he will most likely get hurt, but you know what, if the punishment fits the crime, then so be it. He'll probably never do it again. 

My 4 year old loves to jump and run all over the place. She is very high energy. We usually go to the stores that have carts for kids to use. They are tiny versions of a regular shopping cart. She always, without fail runs with her cart. Has she tipped or crashed her cart before? Yes. Will she most likely still run with it? Definitely. If she is running through the store and crashes or tips her cart over, I believe the punishment fits the crime. I don't get upset with her because she did it to herself. If she gets hurt we talk about it and she usually walks nicely for the remainder of the trip. 

The curious little boy I have loves to open drawers and cabinets. He closes his fingers in them several times. A natural consequence to opening a drawers and doors in the kitchen that he shouldn't be in anyway. I do not get upset with him for opening the drawers but every time he pinches his fingers he is a little more careful. 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that don't force your kids to act or behave a certain way. How are they learning of they don't figure it our for themselves? Of course safety is my number one priority, and I do what I can to prevent injury. If it takes falling off the couch she's jumping on to get her to learn that that isn't safe then I will take my chances. Coddling our children is not going to do anything for them, I want my kids to learn from their actions.